The Life I Lead

The other evening started off in much the same way that all evenings start off in our home. Matt was practicing his wrestling skills on me putting me in a headlock, picking me up and throwing me on the bed.

 Performing the always interesting flying elbow in my direction and power bombing me on the couch.

 I was busy telling him about my day as he was doing all of this and just going with the flow as I once again become his little wrestling doll for as long as needs until our daily at home wrestling show is complete.

These practices usually only happen in the privacy of our own home and never result in real injury (he is that good) and I always walk away unscathed and go about my merry way.

Well, after arriving at the gym a short while after practice, matt decides that we should go public with the Alyssa and matt wrestling show. Why he felt the need to put the moves on me in the gym, ill never know but as I put my weights away, I find myself again in the ever familiar head lock.

A trainer close by looks over quizzically probably thinking ‘what the heck is happening’ and considering whether or not to rescue me.

I give him a ‘hey-how ya doin-no worries-just a headlock- do da do do-this is normal-I swear! type of look.’

Then I notice some of the students from a boxing class at the other end of the gym, watching as my arm is twisted behind my back in the common “chain wrestling” move.

I give the class a wink, try to look all calm and give them my very best  ‘hey guys-lookin good-don’t worry-this is normal-keep pumpin the iron-keep punching those bags-good on ya-hehe’ look and wait for Matt to finish the latest series of moves.

“Hey babe, uh maybe this isn’t the very best thing to do in public” I say as my arm is twisted over my head. “Fake punching me probably is not the greatest public display of affection you could come up with.” I whisper to my wrestler.

“Why not??” Matt asks as he fake kicks me in the gut. I bowel over pretending I’m hurt (I’m a real good sport and always play along).

“Well ‘cause everyone is looking at us and well, we don’t want to promote like, fake abuse and stuff” I say.

“It’s all good-just pretend, now look ouuuuut!”

I see an arm coming for me as I prepare to fall back from my pretend clothesline…….

Just another day in the life.

Yes, this is the life I lead.